Driven by curiosity, as fast as we could, my brother and I ran to my aunt's room, climbed up the table, opened the windows, stuck our faces into what little gap there was. At the corner of my eyes, far away in distance, I saw colors as I was listening closely to the blatant and yet invigorating noise. With each chain of "Boom", there came a series of lights, flashing red, yellow, blue and green.
A few minutes did it only last. We crawled back to the beds with our hearts contented.
Year after year, we I would stay up late just to catch a glimpse of the tantalizing hope, faith, luck and love that were being radiated throughout the entire city. The aura just did not get to me.
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Under my blanket, earphones on, listening to whatever bits and pieces of excitement that the radio DJ could offer. Although my presence could not be felt, I counted-down along with him, miles away from where he really is. Almost immediately, the war started.
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Stuck in a traffic jam, after movie, in a car with my aunt and her ex-boyfriend. I glued my face onto the car windscreen, gazing straight up to the sky, where the fireworks were just above us. Up close, I felt connected to every blast. I was amazed by every blast.
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A hand with a glass of beer, ice clinking onto one another, wearing a disgusting green party mask, a party whistle held between my lips. Counted-down with my cousins that I could not relate to back then. As soon as the clock struck 12, we hugged, wished one another whatever we could find in our minds and embraced one another's presence, even to strangers who were drunk, as fireworks were dancing glamorously in the sky above us. There was a hunky Indian.
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Lying on the sofa, cellphone in my hand, curled up like a shrimp. A wish from someone special was what I was waiting for. Foolish. I stared at the celebrities in the television blindly as a war was going on out there, somewhere.
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Locked myself in a room, munching on pineapple biscuits, typing, posting the first post on a new blog, hoping that I would always come back to it. I am not even bothered to make new year resolutions because deep in my heart, I know that I do not have the will and perseverance to accomplish them. Nonsense is what they would end up being.
The dissonance lasted for 4 minutes, probably the longest 4 minutes that I have ever experienced. I feel like I am being vexed and emotionally assailed by the unpleasant noise, reverberating in my ears. It has done nothing but triggered a wave of worries, anxiety, consternation and loneliness that I thought I had concealed in my dark deep chambers.
It sounds like a war.
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